Entertaining the Patients
by Healer Pomfrey
Summary: Severus, Harry, Minerva and Poppy are stuck in the hospital wing with the Hippogriff pox. During that time, Poppy admits to her colleagues that she is writing fanfictions in order to keep them quiet and occupied. A drabble, replacing my author's notes...


**Entertaining the Patients**

Madam Pomfrey let herself sink on her bed in exhaustion. Harry Potter, who was the Transfiguration teacher and Head of Gryffindor, had become ill with the Hippogriff pox, and she had spent the whole day checking on all the students and teachers to find others, who had caught the disease, before they became sick with the pox, in order prevent the school from a mass outbreak of the illness. Fortunately, none of the students had caught it; however, Headmistress Minerva McGonagall and Severus Snape as well as, unfortunately, herself were showing first signs of the illness.

Poppy had immediately called her grandmother, Theresa Pomfrey, who had been her predecessor as Mediwitch at Hogwarts. Theresa had instructed Poppy to go into one of the quarantine rooms together with the other three patients, and after a short trip to St. Mungo's in order to be vaccinated against the Hippogriff pox, she had come to Hogwarts and taken over the hospital wing right away.

"There is no reason to confine me here," Severus growled, glaring at Poppy. "I could very well put myself into quarantine in my private quarters without being exposed to even more germs and dunderheads' babbling."

"Severus, behave yourself," Minerva scolded him immediately, seeing that he threw Harry a menacing glare. "It's not Harry's fault that he caught this illness and that you fell ill as well. Believe me, I'd prefer my own quarters and I'm sure Harry would prefer his own bed as well."

Poppy sighed in exasperation as she walked over to Harry to cover him with his blanket for the fifth time in an hour. "Be glad that this illness is neither life threatening nor very bad. The only problem is that it lasts two weeks and that the spots are very itchy. Moreover, you'll have to remain in bed, since it goes along with a moderate fever. So, don't make such a fuss about the matter. Why don't you just be quiet and occupy yourselves somehow as long as you feel well enough?"

"Occupy ourselves? How do you expect me to brew potions here?" Severus sneered, glaring at the Mediwitch.

"Could you perhaps be quiet for a change?" Harry threw in impatiently. "I have a splitting headache, and your wailing won't help. Don't you have homework to grade or such? If not, feel free to help yourself," he added, pointing to a huge pile of parchments on his night table.

"I can help you, Harry. I don't have any work I could bring here anyway," Minerva offered gently, taking the first pile with her to her bed.

"I'm going to write a story about my most annoying patients," Poppy announced and eagerly began to attack the parchment on her night table with a quill.

"And are you going to enlighten us who your most annoying patients are?" Severus sneered, raising an eyebrow at the Mediwitch.

"Well, can you guess?" Poppy returned the question.

"That's obvious. Severus and Harry I suppose," Minerva threw in dryly, causing Harry to look up indignantly.

"I am not complaining," he said firmly, glaring at his former Head of House.

"However, Poppy and I had to pin you down together to even get you here," Minerva replied strictly. "Even with the fever you were already spiking, you still tried to make us believe you were fine."

"I could write something about my most annoying colleagues," Severus sneered, causing Harry to chuckle.

"And who might that be?" he asked softly, glancing at the Potions Master in the bed next to him, who returned a smirk.

"Believe me, Potter, you'll be my first priority."

HP HEALER POMFREY HP

During the next few days, Poppy spent much time writing her stories, while Severus and Harry did their best to annoy each other and Minerva tried to calm both of them down, so that they wouldn't aggravate their conditions by making themselves so upset.

"Tell us one thing," Severus asked one evening, "where are you going to publish that nonsense?"

Poppy let out a long sigh. "I never told anyone before, but at home, where my grandmother lives, we always had a computer, and I have been reading other peoples' stories on the internet before; oh well, it's a Muggle thing," she added, seeing that her colleagues threw her incredulous looks. "Anyway, a few weeks ago, I bought my own computer, since my friend, who is a Healer at St. Mungo's, introduced me to a shop that sells computers for the magical world. It's very practical if I want to research Muggle illnesses. Anyway, since that time, I have begun to write my own stories, and I'm posting them to a page called fanfiction net. I have two user names, 'Healer Pomfrey' and 'teddylonglong'..."

"Why two?" Severus sneered, interrupting her monologue.

Poppy sighed. "Because the Healer Pomfrey one is reserved for my stories about my patients here, while I'm posting other types of stories under teddylonglong. Even under teddylonglong, I'm writing stories about the infinite fights between the two of you."

"Don't you dare..." Severus began threateningly.

"Really?" Harry interrupted him in disbelief.

"Of course. I'm posting a small chapter each day. I have an author's page, oh well, two of course, and every morning I'm announcing which story I'm going to continue in the evening. In the evening, I post the chapter I promised, and then I hope that my readers will like it and tell me what they liked or did not like. I also tell them on my author's page, which other chapters I've already finished writing, and if they ask me nicely to post one of the other finished chapters first, I sometimes give in to their requests. I can even ask them questions through polls in order to get to know what kind of stories they want to read."

"I bet Severus and his snarky behaviour attracts the most readers," Harry threw in, smirking.

"Yes, that, but the stories, in which the two of you get along well, are the most read," Poppy said, smiling.

"The two of them getting along?" Minerva asked in disbelief. "Poppy, you must have been delirious when you wrote such a story."

HP HEALER POMFREY HP

When Theresa came in to check on the four patients the next time, she brought three piles of parchments with her, handing her to Poppy. "Where do you think you're going?" she scolded the younger witch, seeing that she was about to leave her bed.

"I just have to..."

"No, you don't have to," Theresa said firmly, pushing her granddaughter back.

"Oh well, then give this one to Minerva," Poppy replied, sighing in annoyance. "Minnie, this is about you adopting Harry as a small child and Harry noticing that Severus and you get along so well that he brews a de-aging potion for you, so that you can marry Severus and the three of you are a real family."

Minerva chuckled, Harry snorted in disbelief, and Severus uttered, "Theresa, I'm going to be sick."

"Harry and the Stubborn Old Headmaster," Minerva read, smiling as Theresa handed her the parchments. "Thank you, Poppy; Oh my, that's a long story."

"Oh well, I posted it under teddylonglong. This one," she pointed to another huge pile, "is my favourite among my stories. In this, Harry is a sand phoenix and can travel through the sands of time, and he grows up with the Founders. However, when he is back, he is so good at Potions and Severus doesn't know why, so he gives him detention every evening. Oh well, it takes half the story until the two of them finally get along, and even that only..." She interrupted herself to let out a series of harsh coughs.

"Now I think it's time to shut up and rest, Poppy," Theresa said sternly. "To whom do you want me to give this one, the Founding of Happiness?"

"Severus," Poppy whispered.

"No thank you. That sounds much too farfetched. Potter and I getting along. Pha."

"What is the last one?" Harry queried, looking interestedly at the last, much smaller pile.

"That's a story, in which Fawkes lures you away from the Dursleys. You come to Hogwarts as a phoenix Animagus and bond with Severus..." She interrupted herself when Harry nearly choked and dove into a coughing fit. "Are you all right, Harry? Anyway, Severus doesn't know who you are until... Oh well, you have to read that for yourself. It's called Phoenix Land and is posted under Healer Pomfrey."

Theresa took the last pile and handed it to Harry, before she turned back to Poppy. "Now I don't want to hear anything from you. Lie down and try to sleep for a while."

"Of course, Granny. Why do you think I bothered you to print the stories for them? I wanted to get some quiet after all their bickering and fighting. I'm tired. Good night, Granny." With that she snuggled deep under her covers and drifted off to sleep, unaware of the occasional chuckles coming from Minerva or Severus' frequent groans and snorts of disbelief. She only woke up a few hours later to find Harry stand next to Severus' bed, handing him his story.

"Here Severus, this is really funny."

"If you believe it to be funny, I'm sure I'm not interested, Potter. Go back to bed and leave me in peace."

Poppy turned around with a loud groan, causing Harry and Severus to hurry to her bedside. "Poppy, are you all right?" they asked, simultaneously.

Poppy decided to ignore them and sighed in relief as everything became quiet again a few minutes later. She turned around, knowing that her colleagues were engrossed in their stories, and was just about to go back to sleep, when her eyes caught Harry, who was sitting in his bed with his left arm transformed into a beautiful blue phoenix wing.

"Harry, stop doing that and rest," she croaked, sighing in exasperation.

"Doing what, dear?" Theresa enquired softly. "Harry isn't doing anything. He's fast asleep. You're delirious, Poppy. Try to sleep some more. Don't worry; I'll look after them."

"Thank you, Granny," Poppy mumbled, drifting off to sleep with a small smile playing on her lips.

**The End**

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* * *

I just had to write this drabble after realising that no one seems to bother reading my author's notes and that some people still don't know that HealerPomfrey and teddylonglong are the same and that you can see on my author's page, which chapter I'm going to post next. I decided to put the information into a drabble to ensure people would read it ;-)_

_As you know, I'm not a native speaker of English. Please excuse my mistakes or help me to correct them._

_All recognizable characters belong to J. K. Rowling, and I am not earning anything by writing this story._


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